we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
