Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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