I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
