Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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