You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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