Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
