We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
