My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
