So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
