Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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