I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
