In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
