it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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