What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
