absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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