I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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