I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
