Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He has the fingertips of a God
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
