He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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