p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
