awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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