I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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