woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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