Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
