Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
