Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize