you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
