I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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