Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
