she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
