Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize