Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
