i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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