He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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