dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
