Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
