The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
