your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
