Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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