he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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