Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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