Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
