i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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