when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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