dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
