he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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