Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
