I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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