I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This baby is an asshole
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
