More tranny stories later!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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