I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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