I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
