Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
