As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
