do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
