My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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