we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
