I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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