everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
