My room smells like vodka and shame
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
