just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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