btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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