Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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