There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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