She's JV to your varsity
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
